Tribulations of A Primary Care Giver

Last year my wife of 57 years was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease. She is taking two medications that control her tremors. However, the two medications had several side effects such as constipation, nausea, itching, hypersensitive to sound and minor events in her daily living.

Her constipation and itching are alleviated by drugs and diet. Nausea is prevented by herbal drugs as ginger tea. However her hypersensitivity to sound and excessive concern for minor events in her life often frustrates me. I have to be patient and kept my cool most of the time. However today here in Amoingon, an event occurred that made me raised my voice in frustrations. But before I discussed this event , let me described our life here in Marinduque versus our daily life in Northern California, USA.

In the US I am the primary care giver with some minor help from my youngest son who also live with us. My son works full time and he can only help during his days off. My wife needs constant attention to prevent fatal falls because of her unbalanced gait, and walk. Last year she fell five times. Luckily her falls were not serious and I was there to help her.

Here in Marinduque we hired two temporary help until the first week of May-our scheduled return to the US. This is a much needed relief of my duties as the primary care giver. However at night I am always ready to assist her going to the bathroom and her other personal needs when our live-in help is asleep in the next bedroom.

The other day an incident occurred that made my wife very upset with concern. One of the gardeners doing yard work cut his hand while cutting a young coconut to drink the coco water. We immediately washed it with water and alcohol and applied bandage to the wound. The next day he did not report for work and my wife was so concern for the welfare of our gardener. She wanted me to drive him to the local hospital for a tetanus injection right away while we are still having breakfast. I told her to wait for our driver who was doing some errands and let him drive the gardener to the hospital for his injections.

I told my wife today I am waiting for a call from the US regarding the prospect of renting the beach house for Holy Week this year thus I can not leave the house. She murmured that I am more concern of the call from the US than saving the life of our gardener from a tetanus infection. When I heard this I blow my cool and raised my voice in frustration. I felt MY BLOOD PRESSURE went up. I have to go to my computer for relief and to calm down from my anger and frustration. Again, thank you DSL and my Internet Connection!

Again, Please Lord let me maintain my cool at all times especially when irrational behavior occurs with your love ones that is suffering from neurological disorder such as PD and AZD.

Another Case of a Battered Wife in Marinduque

Last month while interviewing for a caretaker for my wife, we decided on the second applicant that appeared to be soft-spoken and showed empathy on my wife’s illness. The first applicant did not show up and informed us she is scared of ghosts and Goblins she feels reside in our big compound. After a few days our new help informed us that she accepted as a live-in help, because she is scared that her husband will harm her if she does not leave him soon. She told us her life story of both physical and verbal abuse. Evidently, her husband is an alcoholic and jobless. We told her she will be employed until May when we return to the US and her husband do not follow her here in Amoingon. This incident reminded me that battered wives are not rare species in the Philippines. This is an experience that reminded me about two decades ago of rumors that two of my wife cousins were battered wives but were smart enough to leave their husbands before something bad could have happened. Today, my wives cousins appeared to be happy in their second marriages.

Please note that this is my 3rd article on battered wives and husbands that I have personally experienced both here in the Philippines and the United States.

Is the Philippine government( social services) and the Catholic church doing anything to alleviate this problem?

The Inefficiency of Boac Philippine Long Distance Telephone(PLDT) Computer System or its Non-Existence

Three years ago, I applied for a DSL internet connection for our retirement home here in Amoingon, Boac( see photo above). At that time, I was told that the waiting time was 3 months. Since we were staying only for 4 months, it was simple economics not to have it connected. I was also informed that If I want to use the same telephone number, I have to ask authorization from my sister-in-law to transfer the phone from her name to my name. My sister-in-law did all the requirements including a letter that she is transferring her rights of the 332-1338 telephone number to my name. The next year, I followed my application and was informed that they have no records of my application and the telephone number is still in my sister-in-law’s name. I reapplied and when I inquired how long it will take for the installation I was told four weeks. I decided again, it is not a smart decision money wise to have an Internet and Wifi connection also that year, since we will be using it only for about one month.

Three weeks ago this year, I decided I will apply for a DSL connection as soon as I arrived in Boac. We arrived in Boac Sunday and next day I went to the PLDT office and inquire about my application for a DSL connection. They have my name in their computer system, but the telephone number is still in my sister-in-law’s name. Again this time I called my sister-in-law and I let her talk to the PLDT representative. The representative told her to FAX an ID to their office and another letter transferring her rights to the number to my name. In the meantime, I have to reapply again for the 3rd time. I decided to do it, because I was informed it will take only from one week to 2 weeks waiting time. I was told PLDT will process the installation first and after that process the name transfer. I told PLDT to call me or text me prior to the Installation, to be sure I am home.

Exactly one week after my application, my door bell rang. Two PLDT Technicians told me they are ready to install my DSL and Wifi Connection to my computer. My computer happened to be 10 years old and had no port connection for the Internet cable. I called my computer technician for home service and after one hour my computer was cable ready. The technician was able to make my computer work for about an hour, but it was old and very slow. Moreover my PC Monitor finally conked out. I decided to purchase a new computer, monitor, key board and a mouse. For 15K, I have a brand new computer with a 20” Monitor and I am satisfied with the speed of the Internet Connection.

I have been using my DSL Internet for 3 days when this afternoon, I received a call from a PLDT representative asking for my sister-in-law. I told her my name and inform her my sister do not reside here and is in Manila. So she said maybe I can answer a few questions about the recent DSL connection in my home here in Amoingon. I said in the affirmative.

She asked me if I am happy of the Installation and why. I told her I am neither happy or unhappy of the Installation process. However, I am very unhappy that the phone number is still in my sister-in-law's name. I gave the representative the history of the name transfer and told her the company computer system stinks if it ever exists. She apologize, but I was happy I was able vent my frustration to her on the inefficiency of the PLDT computer system. The representative apologized but did not say, she is going to investigate on the status of the name transfer application. The next time a PLDT representative ask for my sister-in-law name regarding our telephone number, I will raise Hell again! I want to be sure though that I have taken my blood pressure pill, before I raise my voice in frustration.

Hotel and Resort Owners Getting Ready for Caving Congress

The other day I attended a meeting for hotel and resort owners in the town of Boac, Marinduque, Philippines. The meeting was called by the Municipality of Boac in coordination with the Provincial government of the province of Marinduque. The 14th National Caving Congress will be held from April 10 to 14 in Boac. There will be around 200 attendees expected from local, national and international cave enthusiasts and their families.

The meeting was scheduled at 1:30PM at the third floor of Boac Municipal Building . Most of the hotel and resort owners or their representatives were present on time except for three owners that arrived at 2PM. As expected the meeting did not start as scheduled ( Filipino time). But I was delighted the meeting started at 2PM only 30 minutes late. The organizers requested the owners to bring with them the available packages of accommodation for their venue for the duration of the meeting, including rates, amenities and rooms availability. In that meeting I met two non-tagalog speaking owners. One is a French Canadian and the other is Dutch. The hotel owned by the Dutchman is still under construction, but will be ready by April 1 in time for the Caving Congress. He will name his hotel, Amsterdam Palace. The hotel has no website yet, but I promise to help him create a site at blogger.com before April 1.

One issue mentioned during the meeting was the completion of the Marinduque Airport. It was mentioned that the province will be lucky if the airport construction will be done by July or August this year(hopefully not next year).

The Caving Congress will feature only 4 caves in the province, although there are over 100 caves in the province of various sizes including one with a subterranean river system located in San Isidro, Santa Cruz. It was also mentioned that there is now a private tour company in Boac offering several day tour packages ranging from 1800 to 2700 pesos per person which includes lunch and merienda. The privately owned Bathala Cave will not be in the tour, since it is not well maintained.

I reiterated that without air services, tourism will not thrived in Marinduque. One hotel owner commented that Marindque is so near from Manila but yet so far because of the absence of air transportation services to the island.

Major Renovation and Long Term Lease Availability of the CDM Beach House

Since last month several renovation projects had been initiated at the Chateau Du Mer Beach House. The first project is the installation of a more durable fence consisting of cement, hollow blocks and PVC pipes. Thus, there will be no more rusts problems( from the salty ocean breezes) of the chain link fence that had provided security and privacy of the property for the last 15 years. Estimated cost of this project is $2000 ( dollars). As of today the dollar to peso exchange is 1 to 44.7 in Manila and 1 to 44.3 here in Marinduque.

The second project is upgrading the electrical wiring system to accommodate new air conditioning system.

The third project is installing stainless steel gutter system.

The fourth project is to install new shade system in the balcony at the upper floor of the beach house.

Last year a kitchenette area was installed at the lower level. The kitchenette has a refrigerator, two-hole gas burners and a microwave oven for light cooking.

Completion of this renovation is targeted one week before the Holy Week Season. As of today, I have received several inquiries from several prospective clients from Manila, Europe and from the US. I required a minimum of 3-4 days stay at the beach house and an advance deposit of 1000 pesos to confirm the dates of your reservation.

As of today our most important business decision is to make available a long term rental of the beach house( minimum of 6 to 12 months renewable lease).

If you know of anyone looking for a beach house to rent on a long term basis please contact me. I will give a 10% commission to all referrals based on the first month rental lease agreement. For details call me at 042-332-1338 ( land line in Philippines) or on my cell phone 09098967590 or in my US phone at 916-961-3365. Please also visit my site at http://chateaudumer.blogspot.com or at www.chateaudumer.com

Only in Marinduque

This morning a door to door service woke me up at 4:30AM. I was in deep sleep when I heard the newly installed buzzer in our front gate. I thought the kids in the neighborhood were playing with the buzzer as in previous years. The bell rang two more times and I realized is time to wake up and see who is ringing the door bell . I walked barely awake to the front gate about 20 meters and asked what time is it and who is ringing the buzzer in this early morning hours.

I heard an apologetic response, door to door service Sir. What time is it? 4:30AM Sir. Why so early? Please be patient with us Sir. We are still delivering to Buenavista. Our load of fresh vegetables are rotting, that is the reason for this very early delivery.

I opened the gates, 4 small boxes and a long side table with glass top was delivered in my back porch. After checking that the glass top was not broken, the door to door service with another apology went on their way to Buenavista about 45 minutes away. The delivery was part of the mop and pail package that my sister in-law purchased for me in Manila. It cost 600 pesos. It is needed to clean our marble floors in the main house and the tile floors of the conference Hall. The glass top side table and other boxes were for my sister-in-law beach house and cottage.

Thank you dear sister-in-law for ordering the mop as well as my new PC and monitor, but hopefully the next delivery will not be early in the morning as this one.

Another item I want to mention is the dental service in this poor island with no air service from Manila. In general the dental services here are comparable to US standards and are much, much cheaper than the dental cost in California. I had ordered two new dental partials last year. The other day, one of the teeth in my lower partial broke after I eat a small piece of lechon skin ( roasted baby pig).

I tried to call my dentist in his land line several times. His telephone kept on ringing but no one is responding. I got tried ringing his phone, so I decided that my driver and I just drive to his office. Luckily, he was in his office and have my partial fix after leaving it overnight.
The third item I observed that is only in the Philippines is the special check out line for senior citizens in the grocery stores. During our 4 day stay in Manila prior to our land and sea trip to Marinduque, we purchased about a 2 weeks supply of grocery staples, fruits and vegetables. I was accompanied by my sister-in-law who has a senior citizen card and booklet. I was surprised to see a special check out line with seats for waiting only for senior citizens. I believe we got a 5% discount for certain basic food items, but not for alcohol and tobacco. Not much discount, but every penny here in the Philippines counts. There is no such line in the US.

Finally, I want to emphasize that I am really enjoying our 90 days snowbirding time here in Marinduque so far. The mornings are cool but in mid day it is getting hot and humid- a sign that the hot summer season in the island Paradise is getting near.

Ironstone Heritage Museum: Meet Artist Ditas Katague, Spring Obsession OPEN D...

Ironstone Heritage Museum: Meet Artist Ditas Katague, Spring Obsession OPEN D...: O-120  Roots Before Branches  acrylic  60x48  $7500

Did Your Parents Gave You a Lucky Name?

Image from luux.com

My late Mother-in-law had given my wife a formula based on numbers for predicting whether a marriage,a birth of a child or any addition to your household will bring good or bad luck or even death to your family or household. My wife had followed this formula when we assigned names to our four children. I am not superstitious, but I follow it also, because I have witnessed several cases of relatives in the Philippines, that has suffered early death, divorce or sickness because the combination of the baptismal names of the couples falls into the category of CONDENADO ( meaning condemned or death). There are five categories, BUENAS( good luck), DUDUSO ( doubtful), PELIGRO ( danger), MALAS( bad luck) and CONDENADO. I have the number values for the 26 alphabets and the numbers that are suppose to be lucky, doubtful, danger, bad luck and condemned. But my wife refused to give her permission that I divulge this in my blog. But here is the essence of this pseudo science of numerology.

The 26 alphabets are assigned numerical values from zero to 26. Some of the alphabets have the same values. Eight alphabets are valued 12, four alphabets are valued 9, three alphabets are valued 18, and the rest from of the alphabets are valued from zero to 26.

The letters in your Baptismal name is added. This sum tells the numerologist if your number is either of the above five categories. Then the baptismal name of your wife is also added. The sum of your name and your spouse is added. If it exceeds 30, you start counting to 1. If you have a baby, the baptismal name of the baby is added to both husband and wife's total. Any addition to the household, even household help must be considered especially if the maid, cook or gardener lives in your house.

So how will you know if the sum of all the names in your household will bring you good or bad luck?

There is a list of lucky numbers, unlucky numbers, doubtful numbers, danger numbers and condemned numbers. There are 7 lucky numbers among them are 7, 9 and 11. There are eight unlucky numbers among them are 4, 8, and 29. There are 20 doubtful numbers among them are 5, 6 and 27. There are 8 danger numbers among them 12, 15 and 23. There are 8 condemned numbers among them are 3, 13 and 30.

Let me cite a specific example. My name "David" has a numerical value of 30 or zero. From the chart of 5 categories it is a bad number. So my parents did not give me a lucky name. But if you combined it with my wife's name value 21 our total is 21. The number 21 is doubtful. When our oldest son was born we made it sure that the combination of our 3 names is among the lucky numbers of 1,3,7, 9,and 11.

This numerology system is similar but not identical to the Chinese numerology.
For example number 4 is a pretty bad number in Cantonese, for it sounds death, but in this system 4 is a good number. Eight is a good number in Chinese, but a danger number in this system. Both 1 and 9 are good numbers in Chinese and in my mother-in-law numerology chart.

Curious? I am sorry I can not elaborate more on this. My wife says, it will be bad luck to give details of this Numerology Activity that my Mother-in-law had been practicing for years when she was still alive. Evidently, this has been passed from generation to generation and believe to have originated from Spain. Have you heard a similar activity in your local province in the Philippines, UK or in Spain?.