Let me start the month of August with a smile on your Face. Here are my 14 favorite one-liners? I hope this will make your day!
1. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
2. Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer.
3. We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.
4. Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.
5. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
6. If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.
7. Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
8. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
9. Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.
10. Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
11. My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.
12. Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand. (Bridge players, this one is for you).
13. The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
14. Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't
Do you have a one-liner to share?
Source: www.onelinerz.net
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