Coping with Grief: Community Involvement, Social Activities and Medical Mission-Part 4

In my last article, Coping up with Grief, Part 2 , I discussed Macrine's involvement with the Filipino-American community in the Washington DC area in 1999. Along with some photos during PAFC festivities ( Parade in Pennsylvania Ave and the Gala Ball), I cited my article on how we balance Frugality and Extravagance in our Marriage. 

In Part 4 of this series ( Coping up with Grief), I will reminisce Macrine's other community involvement, social activities and specifically the Marinduque International, Inc medical missions to her province of birth via photos.       

Macrine and I Getting ready for the Gala Ball in front of our Residence in Colesville,MD,  Macrine in her Beaded White Terno and Me in my Black Barong

Meanwhile, enjoy one of Macrine's Favorite piece, Rachmaninoff, Rhapsody -Theme of Paganini

 

Coping up with Grief: Trip to Stinson Beach, California, Part 3

 

Last week, my sister-in-law and husband( Charro and Michael Levin) donated 3-days and 2 nights stay in their beautiful beach house in Stinson Beach, California, to give me a break and hopefully accelerate my grieving process.

https://abnb.me/oiprUHqK28 

Ditas and Carenna( with Sierra and Leif) drove me going there and Dodie drove me back here in Fair Oaks.  Stinson Beach was amazing with its popular white sand beaches and gorgeous sunsets. Thanks a million Charro and Michael. I had a grand time in Stinson Beach. The Beach House was perfect in both location and comfort.

Driving from Fair Oaks to the Beach House was a little curvy ( Both Highway 1 and Panoramic Highway), but it was worth it because of the scenery.  It reminded me of the zigzag roads of Baguio, Philippines and Road to Hana, Maui, Hawaii.

 The following photos are for your viewing pleasure:

 

 

Meanwhile, enjoy this photo of the Chateau Du Mer Beach House in the Philippines

Coping Up with Grief: Balance between Frugality and Extravagance-Part 2

In my first article about coping up with grief, I mentioned that I am participating in the Complimentary Hospice Program for Grief Counseling which started last week. The first session was indeed helpful. One of the questions, the counselor asked me was, what do I missed most about my spouse of over 63 years. My first reaction was about Macrine's personality( exact opposite of mine), her passion for community involvement and her good sense to balance frugality and extravagance. (See link below)

The following are some photos of Macrine's involvement in the community and her leadership abilities with the Filipino-American Community in the Washington DC area in the late 1990's.   

 

 

Macrine and I dancing the Tango, 1999 Gala Ball, Washington, DC

 Marinduque Association of the Capital Area (MACA), 1999

Here's the link in how Macrine and I demonstrated how to balance frugality and extravagance in our married life.   

https://marinduqueawaitsyou.blogspot.com/2017/04/lessons-on-frugality-and-extravagance.html

 

Coping with Grief: Support from Relatives and Friends

If you are following my blogs and FB pages you know that my wife of 63 years just joined her Creator recently. So am I coping with grief? I hope so. There are times when I just felt numb and kept staring in space. But I realize I still have goals and have lots of friends and relatives who are supporting my grief. I am still in the E and A stages in the TEAR Model below, but hopefully will be in the R soon. The short and long term goals I have will kept my heart burning with fire and fighting spirit. 

Here are my Short  and Long term goals:

Travel to the Philippines and Enjoy Chateau Du Mer Once More( Bring Macrine Ashes)

See DJT out of the White House this coming November! Biden and Harris Elected

SEE Carenna Complete her Bacaulaurete Program at UWC in Maastricht,  Netherlands  and Complete College in the next 5 years

Maybe enjoy  the  presence of a great grandchildren in the near future.

How to deal with the grieving process

While grieving a loss is an inevitable part of life, there are ways to help cope with the pain, come to terms with your grief, and eventually, find a way to pick up the pieces and move on with your life.

1.Acknowledge your pain.
2.Accept that grief can trigger many different and unexpected emotions.
3.Understand that your grieving process will be unique to you.
4.Seek out face-to-face support from people who care about you.
5.Support yourself emotionally by taking care of yourself physically.
6.Recognize the difference between grief and depression.

Source:https://www.helpguide.org/articles/grief/coping-with-grief-and-loss.htm

I am following the 12 suggestions as discussed in the above video. I am also enrolled in the Hospice Grief Counseling Program one hour per week for 12 months. I started my first session the other day. It was terrific and helpful.   I am also reading a couple of books on grieve management.

Most of ALL, a few of my close relatives are supporting me in my grieving process. The last couple of days, my sister-in-law and husband donated 3-days and 2 nights stay in their beautiful beach house in Stinson Beach, California. Ditas and Carenna drove me going there and Dodie drove me back here in Fair Oaks, Stinson Beach was amazing with its popular white sand beaches and gorgeous sunsets. See the following photos: The middle picture is Carenna's sand drawing in honor of her Lola.

 

 

Dodie, Carenna and I enjoying Dinner at the Beach House Backyard Patio 

Meanwhile enjoy this video on Chateau Du Mer- Macrine's and My accomplishments of an ideal retirement property in the Philippines. This video reminds me of our stay in Stinson Beach this last 3 days.

 

The 9th Day-Clelebration of Life: Macrine(a) Nieva Jambalos Katague

At our 50th Wedding Anniversary, CDM, Boac, Marinduque, Philippines, 2007

On August 10, 2020, my wife and partner for over 63 years passed peacefully in her sleep after several years of illness. She was a devoted spouse, loving mother and adoring grand mother, accomplished visiting trilengual nurse as well as a community leader. She had a passion for home health and public health nursing during her younger years in California and Maryland. Macrine had a Bachelors Degree in Commerce (UST), AA in Nursing, Contra Costa College, Richmond, California, a Bachelors Degree in Nursing and a Certificate in Public Health, Holy Name  College, Oakland, California.  She was involved in Home Health as a Visiting Nurse and later as Quality Assurance Manager. She retired early to enjoy our life as Snow Birds-spending half of the year in our retirement home at Chateau Du Mer, Boac(CDM), Marinduque, Philippines. For our Love Story read:     

https://letterpile.com/memoirs/our-love-story-our-coming-55th-wedding-anniversary

She has touched numerous lives with her involvement and leadership in several medical and dental missions to the province of her birth( Marinduque) in the Philippines as well as her active participation and leadership with the Filipino-American Associations in Stanislaus County( Modesto. CA), in Contra Costa County ( Pinole, Ca) and most of all with the Filipino-American Association of the Washington DC and Tri-State Area  (Virginia and Maryland). For our medical mission activities read:

https://hubpages.com/politics/medical-mission-of-love-to-marinduque 

It is customary in the Catholic Philippines to celebrate the 9th Day and 40th Day anniversaries after Death. This custom is based on the pre-colonial folk belief that the soul of the departed enters the spirit world on the ninth day following death. This is followed by another celebration ( Masses and Rosaries)  on the fortieth day after death to acknowledge the waksi, or death anniversary, when the soul is believed to end its earthly wandering and ascend to the afterlife.

So today on the 9th day after my wife's death ( Macrine Nieva Jambalos Katague), I am posting a few condolences ( 18 out of more than 700 messages) both from Ditas, Dinah and my FB pages. I have omitted the names for privacy reasons. 

Again I am thanking ALL of you for your cards, e-mails, telephone and FB messages of sympathy and condolences. Special thanks and lasting gratitude to those who donated to MI, Inc in honor of Macrine's memory.

Macrine busy in the Pharmacy Section during one of MI, Inc Medical Mission to Marinduque, Philippines

1. We regret to announce the passing today(8/10/20) of a very dear past president of Marinduque International Inc., Macrine Jambalos Katague, beloved wife of David B Katague, mother of four (4) children, Dodie, Dinah, David III and Ditas and grandma of 6 grandchildren. Our deepest sympathy and prayers to the Jambalos and Katague families.🙏🙏🙏. Macrine was past president of Marinduque International Inc. (MII) and spearheaded the first Mission of Love in Marinduque under the sponsorship of MII. She and David were staunch supporters of Marinduque International, Inc. Their beach resort , Chateau de Mer, in Amoingon, was venue for many events during the past medical missions when they retired there. However, due to Macrine’s illness, they returned to Fair Oaks, California, where they have remained . Macrine will be remembered for her leadership, her compassion and generosity of her time to help - her kababayans, friends, extended families, etc. She’ll be missed. 

2. Dear David, I am so sorry to hear that Macrine has passed. May she rest in peace. I know it has not been an easy time in the last few years. I am glad that we met before she got ill, and really appreciated the connection that she established. It was wonderful to visit your place in Marinduque with my family and Mother. Sending you love and prayers.

Macrine and I enjoying the visits of Macrine's Relatives at Chateau Du Mer 

3. My condolences to you Tito Dave and the rest of the family. Manang Macrine is a beautiful person inside and outside. I will always remember her for her endearing personality, her readiness to help others in need and devotion to the MI Inc projects. Rest in peace with the Lord Manang Macrine!

4. So sorry to hear the sad news. We were neighbors for a while in Silver Spring.
Macrine has been active as a community leader. She made a difference.
Eternal rest grant to a beloved wife, mother, and grandmother, O' Lord.

5. Our deepest condolences and prayers, Dave, and family on the passing of dearest Macrine. She is now in peace with the Lord with no more pain and suffering and enjoying paradise . She is now reunited with her sister, Sister Guia and other siblings who preceded her. She’ll be welcomed by our past MII co-founders and past presidents, Doctors Rodolfo L Jao and Hector Sulit , who she worked with during the first Mission of Love in Marinduque which Macrine spearheaded as President of Marinduque International, Inc. Thank you for choosing Marinduque International Inc. (MII) as recipient of donations in her memory. Our deepest sympathy to Jambalos and Katague families

6. My heartfelt sympathy for the loss of your life partner and friend, Primo David B Katague. You are my senior primo, but my  two older sisters are your contemporaries, I believe. I was in high school I think when I heard your name mentioned over the dining table. It was about your doctoral thesis at a US university. First time I heard the word chromatography. Later I married a chemist and it became a household word as as did research using that tool too. I praise God for the full life He has given you, primo David.

 

Macrine and I with Olga Quiazon ( RIP) her First Cousin During an MI, Inc Meeting in Marinduque discussing medical mission activities

 

7. Our sincerest SYMPATHIES & deepest CONDOLENCES to all her loved ones left behind in extreme sadness, most particularly to brod., David. R.I.P., Lady Macrine, who bought for me 6 bottles of San Miguel beer, together with Ogie de la Santa, during the reunion of the Marinduque International, Inc. in San Francisco, California, U.S.A., on August 11, 1999, upon knowing that I do not drink any kind of hard liquor. That incident prompted Dr. Rudy Labay JAO to crack a joke, by saying that there was some kind of favoritism in said gathering. When U.P. Professor David Barredo KATAGUE and Macrine tied their knot of matrimony on May 8 ,1957, Rudy JAO and I were there in attendance, together with Zeny (Baby) Marquez (now Jamilla) & Lulu SARMIENTO (now RODRIGUEZ). GOD bless, everyone.  

 

Private Tour of the Bellarocca Resort and Spa ( Buenavista, Marinduque) with Anne Miles Jalac and Aquilina Rivas, 2011 

 

8. Good bye Tita Macrine. You will always be remembered with fondness. I won't hear your hearty laugh anymore but the memory of your tasty brewed coffee whenever we visited you will still be there when Tito Dave comes for a visit in Cawit. Fly high my friend coz you had a very fulfilled life, and when you come back for another cycle, I am sure it will be a another good life coz you sowed good seeds and you shall reap the rewards in another life. Tito Dave, grieve not for her death coz she is in God:s loving hands. Rather, thank God for 63 years of togetherness. Move on and in God's grace everything will be ok. Take care and stay safe.

 

9. I am so sorry for your loss. Your wife has the face of an angel May God lay his loving hands on you and your family during this most difficult time. Please know we are praying for a healing heart.  

 

10.  Our heartfelt condolences,Tito Dave. She will be remembered with fondest and most loving memories for Christmases, family bondings, and laughter during Marinduque medical missions and more. Hugs to everyone there. May Tita Macrine's soul rest in peace.

Our Wedding Day-May 8, 1957, Boac Marinduque, Philippines

 

From Ditas FB Page: (Five messages out of 200)

 

Today is a sad day. My mom passed away peacefully at home. As many of you know she fought the brave fight with Parkinson’s. My Dad and brother David III have been caring for her in Fair Oaks. She taught me (as many Filipino moms and Titas do) how to be tough and to rise against adversity. She introduced me to Corazon Aquino- the powerful strong widow of Benigno Aquino who was assasinated by Marcos - who went on to become the first female President of the Philippines. She pushed me to be so much more than I ever thought I could be and to overcome many challenges. Carenna said goodbye yesterday- and we both asked her to look for Nick up in heaven.

 

11. Ditas, you were blessed with a beautiful and wise mother for the greater part of your adult life. She planted seeds not only in her children but in her grandchildren. I will hold you and your father up in prayer during this time of sorrow. I can’t help but smile to know that she was married for 63 years, and to see your reflection in this beautiful picture of her. God is good.

 

12. Oh honey, I'm so very sorry for your loss. I can still picture her in the kitchen making lumpia for us that winter break when you took us home and she welcomed and fed us. And I'm forever grateful she and your dad gave me a place to stay while I searched for a job and apartment in DC, though I still cringe to think how she must have shrieked to you on the phone when she came home to a hundred dollar-plus dial-up bill because this dumb girl didn't know the nearest city. She was powerful, full of grace, created an amazing family and leaves a living legacy in you, Carenna, and your family. My deepest condolences to you all.

 

13. Ditas- I’m so sorry to hear this. I remember meeting your mom - she had a wonderful spirit and clearly was a supportive and empowering mother to you. Nothing can ever replace our moms. Sending hugs and deepest condolences as you navigate this loss❤️ 

 

14. So sorry to hear, Ditas. Your family is in my thoughts - I know how often you spoke of her and her relationship with Carenna. She is now at peace. Let us know if you need anything.

 

15. I’m so sorry Ditas. She raised an amazing daughter. She must have been a force.

 

Some of the Jambalos and Katague Clan Members-Celebrating Macrine's 80th Birthday, Fair Oaks, California, 2016

 

From Dinah's Face Book Page ( Three Messages out of 90)

Today my mom passed and joined the league of my personal angels. Thank you mom for all the love and lesson. You taught me to be the badass woman that l am today. I love you and miss you always!

16. Dinah,  I'm sorry for your loss and I remember your mom fondly. I wish heartfelt condolences to you and your family.

17. Dinah, So sorry. So many great childhood and beyond memories of you and your family in Modesto.

 

18.  I’m so sorry, Dinah. Your mother is so beautiful, just like you! Sending prayers for peace and comfort for you and your family.

 

https://www.facebook.com/ditas/videos/10157692912246270/

 

Above video of the slide show with Carenna singing Halleluia live in memory of her Lola

 

Meanwhile enjoy these two pieces- Macrine's Favorites: Romance by Rubenstein and Spanish Romance (Guitar)

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