My Word of the Day- Sapiosexuality

This posting is inspired during one of my many meal time conversations with my two best friends here at THD 

Sapiosexuality is the attraction to intelligence as the primary factor in sexual (or not)  or romantic( or not) interest. A sapiosexual person finds someone's intellect more appealing or arousing than physical appearance or other attributes.Anyone can identify as sapiosexual, including both heterosexuals and LGBTQIA+ people. This means that people who identify as sapiosexual may be straight, gay, asexual, bisexual or another identity. Your tendency for sapiosexual interests could be minor, moderate or excessive.  I think I am in the minor side of sapiosexuality, that is I like smart men or women alike not sexually or romantically, but as closed friends where I could carry deep and meaningful conversations.   

Key Aspects of Sapiosexuality:

• Intellectual stimulation is central to attraction.

• A deep conversation or a display of knowledge can be more compelling than conventional forms of beauty.

• It's considered a sexual orientation or preference, though not formally recognized in clinical psychology.

• Sapiosexuality is often self-identified, especially in dating profiles or personal descriptions.

Here are some examples of sapiosexuality in relationships and pop culture:

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📚 In Relationships:

1. Dating Preference:

   • A sapiosexual might say, "I don’t care what they look like—if we can talk philosophy over coffee for hours, I’m hooked."

   • They often prioritize conversation, curiosity, and depth of thought over conventional attractiveness.

2. Turn-ons:

   • Being able to discuss complex topics (e.g., science, art, politics, history).

   • Someone who can challenge their ideas or introduce them to new concepts is often very attractive.

   • Intelligence with humility is especially appealing.

3. Common Settings:

   • People might meet through book clubs, lectures, think tanks, or online forums centered on ideas.

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🎬 In Pop Culture:

1. TV/Film Characters:

   • Benedict Cumberbatch's Sherlock Holmes: Many fans are drawn to his brilliant, analytical mind—even though he’s emotionally distant.

   • Lisa Simpson (The Simpsons): For those who identify as sapiosexual, her intelligence and moral reasoning make her more attractive than her looks or age.

2. Books:

   • Pride and Prejudice (Jane Austen): Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy’s attraction grows largely through intellectual sparring and mutual respect.

   • The Rosie Project (Graeme Simsion): A romantic comedy where love blossoms based on cognitive compatibility.

3. Dating Apps:

   • Many users list “sapiosexual” on Tinder, OkCupid, or Hinge, signaling they’re looking for mind-first connections.

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 Here’s a sample sapiosexual dating profile and then a fictional character sketch—both designed to reflect intelligence-driven attraction. (From ChatGPT)

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🖊️ Sapiosexual Dating Profile (Example – Female, 60s)

Headline:
Looking for someone whose mind moves faster than their car.

About Me:
Books before brunch, TED Talks over reality TV. I’m the kind of person who pauses a movie to Google the historical reference. Retired science teacher, part-time philosophy enthusiast, and full-time lover of meaningful conversation. If you can explain quantum physics or quote Shakespeare (bonus if you can do both), I’m intrigued. Wit and curiosity are my love languages.

What I’m Looking For:
Someone who’s not afraid of long emails, deep thoughts, or the occasional debate on ethics, technology, or the best coffee blend. Let’s get intellectually lost together.

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🎭 Sapiosexual Character Sketch (For Fiction)

Name: Malcolm Reyes
Age: 72
Background: Former university librarian turned amateur playwright. Lives in a retirement community where he runs a weekly discussion group called "Ideas that Changed the World."

Personality Traits:

• Soft-spoken but sharp-witted.

• Quotes Voltaire and Vonnegut in casual conversation.

• Keeps a notebook of questions he wants to explore, from metaphysics to why cats purr.

Relationship Style:

• Drawn to those who can challenge his opinions respectfully.

• Finds quiet intimacy in shared reading or crossword puzzles over breakfast.

• More moved by a thoughtful letter than grand romantic gestures.

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Here’s a romantic scene between two sapiosexuals, tailored for a reflective, mature tone—ideal for a story set in an active senior living community or a quiet intellectual setting(AI).

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Scene: “The Margins of Meaning”

Setting: The community library, late afternoon. Warm light spills through tall windows. The air smells faintly of old books and Earl Grey tea. Malcolm Reyes (72) sits at a table, thumbing through The Origin of Consciousness in the Breakdown of the Bicameral Mind. Across from him, Eleanor Lin (69), a retired linguist, is annotating a poetry collection with a fountain pen.

Dialogue:

Eleanor (without looking up):
You know, Jaynes’s theory always struck me as more poetic than scientific. The idea that early humans mistook their own thoughts for the voice of gods—elegant, but conveniently unverifiable.

Malcolm (smiling, closing his book gently):
Poetry and science aren’t always at odds. Sometimes the unprovable holds more truth than the measurable. Like love... or déjà vu.

Eleanor (finally meeting his gaze):
Or attraction sparked by a sentence instead of a smile?

Malcolm (leans forward slightly):
Exactly. Though your marginalia are doing dangerous things to my heart right now.

Eleanor (laughs, the sound warm and surprised):
You’re the first man to flirt with me over footnotes.

Malcolm (softly):
That’s because I read between the lines.

A pause. Their eyes hold for a breath too long.

Eleanor (playfully):
Careful, Malcolm. That kind of wordplay could lead to coffee. Or worse—shared bookmarks.

Malcolm (offering a folded slip of paper):
Then allow me to be reckless. I made a list. Ten questions I still don’t know the answers to. Thought maybe we could wonder about them together.

Eleanor (takes the paper, studies it with quiet reverence):
I’d like that. More than I expected.

The clock ticks. Outside, the sun slides lower. Inside, two minds meet—in silence, in laughter, in the beautiful space where intellect and affection intertwine. Thank you. ChatGPT for the above short story. 

Lastly, You Can Not Please Everyone