The following article reminded me of my early married years when Macrine*( RIP) and I participated in our Pre-Cana Conference Group. Our job ( volunteers) was to advise young couples for 10 one-hour sessions before their wedding Day, on what is a Catholic Marriage! We had to undergo a week of training from a professional Marriage Counselor before being assigned. We did this for two years. Macrine ( RIP) and I must have talked to about six couples, before other priorities ( Christian Family Movement) took over our daily lives. Here's the article that I could identify with. 
WHAT’S REALLY BEHIND BROKEN RELATIONSHIPS?
Before the counseling, they thought they already knew plenty about marriage. But when I started asking a series of simple yet deep questions, they suddenly went silent—almost “speechless,” as if realizing: We thought we knew, but we don’t.
And that moment reminded me of something I’ve observed over years of ministry: Couples don’t separate because they are “incompatible.” Truth is, no husband and wife are naturally compatible. How could they be? They grew up in different homes, raised by different parents, shaped by different values.
They also don’t separate because they stopped loving each other. Every couple who marries starts with love in their hearts.
And they certainly don’t separate just because they argue or fight. All couples argue. All couples disagree.
So what makes the difference between those who separate and those who stay?
It’s not compatibility.
It’s not the absence of conflict.
It’s not love alone.
The difference is this:
Those who separated chose to give up. Those who stayed chose not to give up.
Incompatibility, arguments, and conflict don’t end relationships—giving up does.
When the season of testing came—whether through financial hardship, misunderstandings, sickness, or emotional distance—those who quit let the season define the end of their story. Those who stayed decided that storms would not sink their ship.
And here’s something many people don’t realize:
When a husband or wife says, “I don’t love him/her anymore,” what they really mean is,
“I made a decision not to love anymore.”
Yes, the real meaning of “I don’t love you anymore” is this— I made a decision not to love you anymore.
Because love is not merely a feeling that comes and goes—it is a daily decision to choose the other person, even when the emotions are weak.
Always remember the following. Your life and your marriage is about DECISION:
D – Decide to Stay
Marriages last because couples choose to remain committed, no matter the storms. Galatians 6:9 reminds us, “Let us not become weary in doing good…” Staying is a deliberate choice to keep fighting for love.
E – Embrace Differences
No two people are the same, but differences can build deeper love when embraced. Romans 15:7 says, “Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you.” Value your spouse’s uniqueness.
C – Choose Love Daily
Love is not just felt—it’s chosen every day. Colossians 3:14 urges, “Above all, clothe yourselves with love…” Choosing love means forgiving, serving, and speaking life.
I – Invest in Understanding
Arguments don’t destroy marriages; the lack of listening does. James 1:19 teaches, “Be quick to listen, slow to speak…” Understanding builds stronger connections.
S – Stand Firm
Marriage is a covenant, not a contract. Malachi 2:14 says, “Do not break faith with the wife of your youth.” Honor your vows through every season.
I – Ignite Resilience
Trials are part of marriage, but resilience helps you rise again. 2 Corinthians 4:8 declares, “We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed…” Keep bouncing back together.
O – Overcome Quitting
The difference between separation and survival is perseverance. Hebrews 10:36 says, “You need to persevere so that… you will receive what He has promised.” Refuse to give up.
N – Nurture Christ’s Love
The closer you are to Christ, the closer you’ll be to each other. John 15:12 says, “Love each other as I have loved you.” Make His love your foundation.
Marriage is not held together by perfection but by perseverance. Resilience—the ability to endure—is a major factor.
The Bible doesn’t say love is always easy. It says:
“Love bears all things… endures all things.” (1 Corinthians 13:7)
This means love is willing to carry weight, absorb pressure, and survive storms. And endurance is not a feeling—it’s a decision. It’s choosing to stay in the fight even when emotions are low.
If you’re married, engaged, or dreaming of marriage one day, ask yourself: When the testing season comes, will I choose to stay? Do I have the resilience to endure, not just the passion to begin? Is my love rooted in Christ, who never gave up on me?
“Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” — 1 Corinthians 13:7 (ESV)
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