There are films that critics dismiss, but somehow, quietly, they find a home in us. The Death & Life of John F. Donovan, directed by Xavier Dolan, is one of those films for me. Despite its lukewarm reception, I found myself drawn not to its imperfections, but to its humanity.
And perhaps that says more about where I am in life than about the film itself.
The Fragility of Fame and the Illusion of Perfection
At its core, the film explores the life of a troubled actor, played by Kit Harington, whose public image is carefully crafted while his private life slowly unravels. In today’s world where image often overshadows substance, this theme feels all too familiar.
Through my years of blogging, I’ve come to understand a quieter truth: authenticity always outlives performance. The film reminds us how exhausting it is to live behind a mask, something many of us do in smaller, less visible ways. Not in Hollywood, but in our own lives, our communities, even our families.
The Power of Connection Across Distance
One of the most touching elements is the relationship between Donovan and a young boy, played by Jacob Tremblay, who writes to him. Their correspondence becomes a lifeline, an unlikely but profound connection.
It made me think about the invisible threads that tie us together. Since 2009, I’ve been writing blogs not knowing exactly who will read them, or where they will land. Yet every now and then, a comment appears, a message from someone across the world telling me that something I wrote mattered.
Much like those letters in the film, words have a way of traveling farther than we imagine.
Mother-Son Relationships: A Quiet Anchor
The film also gently explores the bond between mother and child, particularly through the characters portrayed by Natalie Portman and Susan Sarandon. These relationships are not perfect, but they are deeply human filled with misunderstanding, protection, and unconditional love.
As a parent, these moments resonated deeply with me. Our children often see us more clearly than the world does. And sometimes, they carry our truths long after we are gone.
Identity, Silence, and the Cost of Hiding
Perhaps the most poignant theme is the struggle with identity, particularly Donovan’s hidden sexuality. The fear of being exposed, judged, or rejected becomes a quiet tragedy that runs throughout the film.
We live in a time where openness is more accepted than ever, yet the fear of vulnerability still lingers. The film reminds us that hiding one’s truth can be more damaging than the judgment we fear.
In my own writing, I’ve tried more and more to lean into honesty. Not because it is easy, but because it is necessary.
When Critics Miss the Point
This film was criticized for being overly sentimental, disjointed, even self-indulgent. Perhaps it is all of those things. But life itself is often disjointed. Our memories are not linear. Our emotions are not neatly edited.
What I saw was not a perfect film, but a sincere one. And sincerity matters.
A Personal Reflection
As someone who has spent years writing, reflecting, and sharing pieces of life with readers around the world, I found this film to be unexpectedly personal.
It speaks to:
- the longing to be understood
- the courage to be authentic
- the quiet impact we have on others without ever knowing
In many ways, it mirrors the journey of blogging itself. We write into the void and sometimes, the void writes back.
Final Thoughts
The Death & Life of John F. Donovan may not be universally loved, but it doesn’t need to be. Some stories are not meant to impress everyone, they are meant to reach someone.
For me, it did. And if you’ve ever wondered whether your words, your truth, or your life has meaning beyond your immediate circle, perhaps this film and this reflection-will remind you: It does.
- 2017 Framing Device: A young actor named Rupert Turner (Ben Schnetzer) gives an interview to a cynical journalist (Thandiwe Newton) about his newly published book, which details his childhood correspondence with a famous TV star.
- The Mid-2000s (Rupert): An 11-year-old Rupert (Jacob Tremblay) lives in England with his mother (Natalie Portman). He is a fan of the TV show Hellsome High and strikes up a secret pen-pal relationship with its star.
- The Mid-2000s (Donovan): John F. Donovan (Kit Harington) is a successful actor struggling with his closeted identity in Hollywood. He finds solace in his letters to Rupert, sharing fears he cannot reveal to his manager (Kathy Bates) or his mother (Susan Sarandon).
- Themes: The film explores celebrity culture, the impact of tabloid media, mother-son dynamics, and the struggle for authenticity in the face of homophobic prejudice.
- Reception: Despite a high-profile cast, the movie received generally negative reviews from critics (19% on Rotten Tomatoes), who often described it as overly sentimental or "messy".
- Free (with ads): Pluto TV, The Roku Channel, Amazon Prime Video, and YouTube.
- Rent/Buy: Available for $3.99 on Apple TV, Google Play, and Fandango at Home
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